Resolution ...

Been thinking about it since I couldn't sleep. It's true that over thinking kills. It can't change anything. I'm trying to overcome it now. But the fear of the foresee possiblity circumstances and consequences. Frighten me much! 

2014.

Make me realized how fast can time pass ... I'm officially 24 this year. It makes me realized how old I really are. Looking at the ladies with the age of 24,25,26-28. They seems pretty much successful. Great income, stable job, own a car/house, happily married, traveling to Europe for holidays, luxury goods, able to provide "Stuffs" for their family and so on ... I felt so 失败, comparing to them. I need to work double/triple hard to get those wonderful income and it's tough. My health is extremely terrible. Not to mention getting sick, pain every other days. As for my friends, I thanked God for brightening my eyes. It makes me realized, how I could travel extra miles for them without hesitating. Yet in return, none of them would do so. Majority of them know how to speak/say. But When things happens they are nowhere to be found. All it left was you, alone, only yourself to face it. Honesty I'm not ready to face it. But I'm definely ready to learnt from my mistakes. Perhaps this particular freelance job seriously does not suit me at all. Everytime, when I attended to the deal. Things would happened. I guess God is being nice to me, trying to warn me not to do anything foolish or stupid anymore. I need to force myself to think positively. My aim for the next 2 years is "Marriage". I keep telling myself people can do it why can't I? But it never happens. 2013 I've disappoint a lot of people especially my close ones. I've bought enough trouble for them. Although this year 2014 I couldn't celebrate Chinese year new. But I'm gonna try my best to make it better. I need anger management and financial planing. Even one of my friend with such a low income, doing part time in KFC. She's able to save a numberous amount. So why can't i? This year I gonna stop being an impulsive buyer. Money is indeed important. But spend it wisely. Eileen please tell me that you can do it! God please let me to be safe and sound from the evil. I'm tired of worrying and fearing for whatever outcome it is ... 

God bless me.